Amuserobics

At least equally important to awe-robics (See August 1 post) is amuserobics. To keep our sanity, we need to find something amusing every day. A story that did it for me was “the case of the missing link” that was reported in the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel online a few months ago. I’m still smiling.

sausagesFirst, a little back ground: Since the early 1990s, a sausage race to promote the local Klement’s Sausage Company has been held before the bottom of the sixth inning at every home game of the Milwaukee Brewers baseball team. Although there were originally just three costumed wiener racers, the bratwurst (wearing lederhosen), the Polish sausage (kielbasa), and the Italian sausage (known as Guido), a hot dog and Chorizo (wearing a sombrero) were eventually added. The oversized foam sausage costumes measure 7 feet, 3 inches high (2.21 meters) and stretch above the top of the head to the knees of the runners, who are most often baseball-related employees.

I have been smiling about these fellows since I first heard about them four years ago. Then last February the Guido costume, worth $3000, was stolen during a local winter festival and spotted barhopping one night in a small town north of Milwaukee. “This is the wurst of times,” Rebecca Quella, director of marketing at Klement’s, said in a statement.

Police were temporarily mystified. Two local companies offered rewards for the costume’s return. Owners of the Mustard Girl Company promised a year’s supply of their product — which they defined as a case of 12 bottles of mustard a month! — and Appleton-based GLK Foods, the largest manufacturer of sauerkraut in the world, matched Mustard Girl with a year’s supply of sauerkraut.

The rewards and local publicity put pressure on the thieves. As a result, according to the newspaper, “Two people ran into T.J. Ryan’s bar in downtown Cedarburg, Wis. on Wednesday night and dropped off the stolen costume . . . As the two were sprinting out the door, they told the bartender that she ‘didn’t see anything.’” The two people were eventually caught and fined about $800, in part to pay for cleaning of the costume, but the amusement factor continued with comments to the online stories. This was Matchboy’s:

“This is the wurst thing I’ve ever heard; when will suburban morals kecthup with mainstream America’s? These two are in a pickle now; they should have mustard the courage to turn themselves over before things got too hot. I bet they don’t relish the idea of paying these fines.”

Speaking of relish, the run-off race I’d really like to see is one between the Brewer’s sausages and the Kansas City Royals whose runners are dressed as Heinz condiments – ketchup, relish and mustard. Ain’t we got fun?

What have you done today to exercise your funny bone?

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